July 08, 2009

SASI Swimsuit edition

January 29, 2008

Eish SI, I find myself in a puddle of murky fire-engine water. With the next Swimsuit Edition another 8 months away, my predicament has me at your mercy: As a fastidious collector and avid follower of said publication I am proud to say that I haven’t missed a copy since 1998 thanks to steely discipline and a collector’s intuition for intrinsic worth. A collection, I may add, crowned by the addition of the recent 10th Anniversary: Best of Swimwear Edition, reviewing some of the most artfully composed photographs of the past decade. Photography, of course, being the principle motivation for this worthwhile pursuit.

Due to some unforeseen Act of God, as the insurer put it, my valuable and much appreciated collection was recently offered unto the gods along with my house and the rest of my worldly possessions – raised to the ground by fire (front page Cape Times, Wednesday January 16, 2008 – yes, that was mine).

Worldly possessions can be replaced, and countless memories of youth, first love and world travel remain well documented somewhere in the mind. This collection however was unfortunately too valuable for even our intrepid insurer to cover. In correspondence received from their head office, the company believed that it was not within their means to determine a replacement value for such a collection – a sentiment I completely appreciate: I do not suspect it is within anyone’s means to replace an asset that even in today’s volatile stock market environment constantly appreciates, unlike other commodities.

I digress.

Upon an initial partial payment from said friends at the insurer’s office, instinct (and common sense) determined what basic necessities life would require. My wife, bless her, opted for food and clothing. My instincts (somewhat less developed some may argue) drew me along similar lines, wholly focused though on the needs of my mate. Summer was in bloom and with my recent loss fresh in the mind, my focus was on bikinis: I was not about to let Mother Nature score another hit and negate all the hard work my lady put in to shape ‘The Bod’. And what better point of reference than a SI Swimsuit Edition? A hurried visit to the local (and the not-so-local) newsagent, major retailer, corner shop and doctors waiting room proved unsuccessful (for far too obvious reasons). No publications exist in circulation – anywhere!

I have even found myself describing models and poses, patterns and colors, even page numbers of specific issues to wide-eyed surf shop assistants, only to be asked to leave their premises quietly, or be escorted…

My appeal SI, nay quest therefore: to find a supplier somewhere in my world with a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, even if it’s only the Special 10year Edition. Please, my wife’s got money to spend – help me spend it wisely!

Yours sincerely,

Waynnesworld

1 comment:

  1. A quick addendum here: in response to this letter, SA Sports Illustrated Swimsuit coordinator supplied the author with not only the special edition 10 year anniversary issue, but also unopened issues of the past 3 years swimsuit editions and hinted that should they ever require a camera assistant for a SASI Swimsuit edition, they would keep me in mind... I check my mail regularly!!

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